It might be more interesting to write about a problem I have apart from my problem with food, namely the fear of going outside of the house. I'm always scared that everyone will look at me and therefor I often feel like I'm an actor. The feeling I get is that I want to hide right there and then.

This is obviously a problem, as I'm staying at home almost 95% of my life, while I would love to go out (careless, spontaneous, free!) and meet new people and do stuff. It's really frustrating, but I don't know how to deal with this. I can't (and shouldn't) always go with someone else. I have and want to go outside by myself. I want to be able to be independent.

Yesterday there was a meeting of a club I'm a member of. I have never met anyone of this club. How did I become a member, you ask? Well, it's very easy to become a member of almost any club via the Internet. So that's what I did half a year ago. And I hate it that I didn't have the nerve to go there yesterday. I hate it that I'm dead scared to go and meet new people. I hate it that I'm so scared that I can't do what I want. I hate it that I'm inside this prison that I built myself.

Hello everyone,

It's been a while since I started this blog. Today I saw the film Julie & Julia in which Julie is writing a blog about her challenge to make 524 recipes in 365 days. (Her blog is still online, it's here: http://blogs.salon.com/0001399/ ) Julie wrote the blog because she was afraid that she wouldn't keep up the cooking if she didn't have some kind of incentive. She needed a deadline.

This got me thinking: maybe something like that would work for me too. Maybe if I had a deadline for my language course I would study more and work harder. Maybe a deadline, and the possibility of people checking up on you, would make everyone work harder.

So I thought: why not? Maybe I should write down one or two goals and write down how I come along.

So here are my two goals:

1. Finish my Romanian language course


2. Eat healthier and eat sufficient

When have I achieved these goals:

1. If I have finished sending in all my homework from lesson 1 to lesson 48


2. If I have lived through a week of eating healthy with a sufficient intake of calories, vitamins, proteins, etc.

And when do I want to have achieved these goals:

1. On Monday the 4th of October, 2010


2. Hopefully a lot sooner.... :-P

Okay, here goes nothing!!!

Via the website www.postcrossing.com actual postcards can be sent around the world. It's a great and fun way to communicate with people you don't know. It's also nice to have some positive mail between the bills and boring letters you usually get.

I have been sending and receiving cards since 19 June, 2009. Since then, I have sent 17 cards and received 15. So 32 cards in 11 weeks. Not bad, eh?

I would like to write a bit about my very average life on this weblog. I hope to get some messages by other people on here. :-)

Regards,
Girasola